I'm A Self-Sabotage Overachiever.

I just read a pretty great article called Avoiding All Or None Thinking, and it resonated with me like one of those gigantic Chinese gongs.  Not only have I often been my own worst enemy when it comes to weight gain and trying to lose weight, but I have to agree with the article--I've often sabotaged my own damn self by setting my standards impossibly high.

Case in point: every time I resolve to excercise, if I actually follow through and DO the workout, I am never satisfied with doing the normal 20 or 30 minute process.  Nope.  I have to push myself to the absolute limit.  If I'm doing a DVD workout that tells me to use 5-lb. hand weights, I gotta be Workout Badass Girl and grab 10-lb. weights PLUS ankle and wrist weights.  If I convince myself to go out for a walk, then I'm speed walking as fast as I can for at least 80% of the time.  If I dust off my ancient "Sweatin' to the Oldies" tapes and Richard Simmons chirps at me to "go get two soup cans" to use as light hand weights, you know my dumb ass is raiding the cupboards for the Sam's Club-sized, feed-the-entire-congregation, #10 cans of cling peaches in heavy syrup and duct-taping them to my sweaty paws.  Then, when I wake up the next day, feeling like I've been run over by a tank brigade in my own personal Battle of the Bulge(s), I throw a pity party for how much it hurrrrrrts.  By the time the soreness and stiffness wanes, I've usually made up my mind to avoid EVER exercising again.

It's a pretty brilliant (if rather warped) strategy, really.  I'd make the effort--nay, I would make MORE of an effort than any rational human could possibly expect of me--then I'd wallow in self-pity while simultaneously gloating that I had worked SO hard; and then I'd flounce away, feeling justified in giving up.  Food would be my consolation prize for the way exercise had betrayed me.

And that's just one aspect of the entire self-sabotage campaign.  I have been known to follow that all-or-nothing mindset in choosing what I eat during a diet, in following the guidelines of whatever program I happen to be on that time around, and in measuring my progress.  Every time the results bit me in my expanding butt, EVERY time the scale stopped moving, or (gasp!) moved in the wrong direction, I would wallow and flounce. The usual result was that I gained back everything I had lost, and then some, which only fed my negative attitude about my body.

If I am going to move forward and become a successful sleever--and I SHALL--it's pretty apparent that I am going to have to drop my all-or-nothing mindset in the biohazard bucket, along with 80% of my stomach.  I'm going to have to be my own biggest fan, buy some pompoms, and recruit myself to lead Team Diva's cheering squad.  Learn to accept setbacks (even the ones that are minor) with grace and resolve, rather than hissy fits and Hagen-Dazs.  That may be the biggest challenge of all, but I'm determined to make it!

What have your mental stepping stones and attitude stumbling blocks been?  Tell me about it in the comments!