A Week Out from Surgery...

Wow.  It's a brand-new world for me, definitely! 
I've been home for four days now, and the healing process continues.  It's definitely a steep learning curve--mostly related to learning how my body works post-op--but I'm making progress every day, with only a couple of minor setbacks to adjust to.

The first couple of days were rough, of course.  The rumbling and gurgling in my sleeve was so intense, it HURT to sip liquids.  I decided that during the operation, a tiny, angry third-world dictator must have taken up residence.  He had a hair-trigger temper, a huge ego, and steel-cleated combat boots. Swallowing even tiny sips of ANYTHING triggered my tiny, angry dictator to throw unforgettable temper tantrums.  At one point, it hurt so much for liquids to land in my sleeve, I had to do Lamaze breathing with every sip--I could feel the liquid trickling down my esophagus (not painful), and then when it arrived in the tiny dictator's domain, he'd make with the stompy boots and tie my sleeve into horrific knots (EXTREMELY painful)!  I was worried about having a stricture or becoming dehydrated, but I fought for every sip, and it seems to have worked.

Each day, my sleeve's resident Kim Jong Il became a little less maniacal, and this morning I'm actually able to tolerate small-but-reasonably-sized sips, as opposed to ridiculously baby-sized sips that wouldn't hydrate a mosquito. The crushing, squeezing knots have gone away, and now if I sip too fast or too big, I get a squeeze that acts as a reminder without bringing tears to my eyes.

The other setback is that I seem to be lactose intolerant.  This is totally new for me.  Pre-op, I could eat anything--and often did, thus my need for weight-loss surgery, but I digress--but that's not the case now.  My nutritionist's plan allows me to have "full liquids" at the moment.  This means creamy soups with no bits in them, pudding, smooth yogurts (all sugar-free), things like that.  I prepped my kitchen about a week before surgery by filling it with sugar-free Snack Paks (premade pudding cups), cream-of-you-name-it soups, whey-based pricey protein powders for smoothies; I was totally ready.  When I arrived home, I began using my stash.  My angry dictator responded by chaining me to the bathroom for hours on end--I dreaded leaving the house; I was bloated, crampy, miserable.  This went on for the first three days of being home.  Coupled with a fever that at times nudged toward 100 degrees, you can easily see why I was having some "wth have I done" thoughts!

Yesterday I decided to try a non-dairy day.  No protein powders, no milk-based anything.  I ate unsweetened applesauce, drank water, nibbled ice chips, made myself an almond milk smoothie with nothing but peanut butter powder added...and I spent a very comfortable day.  No diarrhea, no cramping, no being shackled to the loo.  What a huge difference!!  It seems like the problem is definitely dairy.  I'm sad about that, but I hold out hope that it won't be permanent, and maybe I'll be able to reintroduce some things a little further down the line. 

I meet with my nutritionist in a couple of days, and hopefully she will be able to help me get my protein in without relying on milk-based products.  It's hard when I won't even be adding puréed foods for another week, much less anything that actually requires chewing!

My incisions are now unbandaged and healing. Some of the surgical glue seems to be lifting; I'm sure the doctor will check those for me later today, at my one week follow-up.  I have some bruising, though not very much.  At the hospital, the nurses missed two of the telemetry markers that are attached to the heart monitor--sticky circles with a snap in the center.  I found them when I first got home, but apparently the few extra hours of adhesive were all my skin needed to break out in two perfect circles of eczema.  Red, itchy, bubbly torture.  But hey, the itching distracts me from the incision soreness!   It's slowly healing, kind of like everything else I've inflicted on my poor unsuspecting body in hopes of giving it a happier and longer life. 

I have my first official post-op weigh-in today.  I'm hoping to see some happy numbers--and to be honest, any downward movement on the scale will make me smile!  Overall, things are going well.  I'm learning to roll with the punches and try to accomodate what my new plumbing needs.  I don't have any real regrets at all, and I feel like this is the beginning of good things for me!  How are YOU?

Why So Serious?

Urgh.  I can never read that phrase without "hearing" it in the Joker's voice (shudder). 
Anywaaaay, I notice that a lot of the time on the forums I frequent for info on VSG, people sometimes take things a wee bit too seriously.  Don't get me wrong, I know this is a major life change, not to mention a major surgery, and it deserves respect and serious consideration.  I agree with all of that.  But every now and then I just want to reply to a thread with "LIGHTEN UP!"
Maybe it's just me. 

I love to joke around and look at life from a quirky perspective.  Laughter is something I adore, and to be honest, I don't indulge in it often enough, do you?  As a teacher, I have to be serious about educating.  I can't laugh when one of my students farts or makes a dorky face or a lame joke.  I have to be serious in an hour-long meeting every day and a 90-minute meeting 2x a month.  Gah.  It's no wonder I come home wound up as tight as Granddad's pocket watch.

Laughter is a stress release.  It sends endorphins flowing through our brains, which leads us to feel less depressed.  It helps us not to sweat the small stuff.  It opens our lungs for deeper breaths, which raises our blood oxygen levels, which is good for every cell of our bodies.  Go watch the YouTube video of quadruplets laughing at their dad's silly antics, or the one from Sweden, where a baby in a highchair can't stop laughing at his father's wacky noises.
If you can watch either of these without smiling and laughing along, seek help, your sense of humor, eet eez borked.

My favorite idea about laughter is the laughing clubs in India.  Have you seen these?  People gather every day, in the mornings before work, meeting in public parks.  They gather around a club leader who incites everyone to laugh on the count of three.  It starts off very forced:  "Ho. Ho. Ha. Ha. Ha," and becomes a mass gigglefest--probably because it's so ridiculous that you just can't help but laugh!  I think my workday would go along much more smoothly if I were able to have a good solid belly laugh beforehand, don't you?  

I think we could all benefit from learning to laugh more and get back in touch with the joy of having a good giggle!   Beyond the stress release, there's a good deal of support for the idea that laughing actually benefits our health.  You can read more about the ways laughter heals the body right here. 
Then go out and spread the giggles, chuckles and belly laughs!

I'm still pre-op, and still feeling pretty new to the entire VSG process, so I'd like to hear from you about your experiences so far.

• If you could tell a noob like me only THREE things-- to remember about the journey, to do either pre-or post-op, or to understand about VSG, what would they be?

• What are your favorite ways to beat the old, bad habits that brought you to needing VSG? 
  (Do you exercise to distract yourself?  Eat healthier snacks when you're craving greasy/sweet ones?  Have you taken up a new hobby to replace boredom eating?)

Tell all of us about it in the comments section!
Hope your weekend has been a great one--brace yourselves, Monday is coming.  *sigh*

Saturdaze, and the Living is Easy.

I love love love the weekends.  It's my unwind/de-stress/de-tox from the week time.  I sleep late--one of the joys of having two teenagers is that they love sleep almost as much as I do; gone are the days of 7:00 a.m. "Mommmmmm, I'm hungryyyyyy" calls from the living room. 

The weather here has finally realized it's spring, and today the sky is a brilliant Wedgwood blue.  It's the kind of day that makes you happy to be alive. At least until you realize there's a mound of laundry big enough to be best friends with Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock.  Sigh.  Looks like the only other colors I'll be staring at today will be the ones in the laundry basket, while I separate them from the whites.  Wheee!

I don't know how often you've wandered through the blog-o-verse, looking for WLS blogs, or blogs about healthy eating, but so far I've found two that I am head-over-bellyflab in love with.  I thought I'd pass them along, in case you might find them interesting, too. 

One, called The Waning Woman, is a journal of one sassy Texan lady's progress with her gastric vertical sleeve surgery (the same operation I'm gearing up for).  I absolutely LOVE her writing style; she tells it like it is with sass and humor and good grace, whether the scale does what she wants every day or not.  Reading her blog is what inspired me to start this one.  (And I mean that once I read her first entry, I could NOT stop reading until I finished every entry--from 2010 till 2013.  It's THAT good.)  Go check her out!

The other of my favorites so far is The World According to Eggface.  Shelly has the classic gastric bypass; the one most people probably think of first when they hear "weight loss surgery".  Her experience with living post-op has led her to create her blog, with tons and TONS of healthyyummyeasy recipes suitable for weight loss surgery patients.  I want to hurry up and get to post-op solid food eating LIKE RIGHT NOW, so I can start trying her recipes on my sleeve! (Patience was never my strong suit, but come on, you go look at her food photos and try telling me your mouth doesn't start waterin'.)

I'm so grateful for these resources, along with the Vertical Sleeve Talk forums--they have already helped me to envision a life after surgery.  Despite my periodic fears and neurotic worries about the entire thing, I find a lot of comfort in the knowledge that every step of the way, I have no reason to feel like I'm struggling on my own.  Someone--in fact, LOTS of someones--has been down a similar path, and they are incredibly willing to offer the wealth of their experiences with new people.  It's pretty damn inspiring.  Oh, and if you're not a sleever, but you're maybe a gastric bypass or lapband patient, there's forums for you too!  Start at MyBariatricPal and you can find your specific procedure's forums from there.

That's really the reason for this blog.  I'm hoping to not only put my thoughts and emotions "out there" to help me work through 'em; I would LOVE for my ramblings to offer support and solutions for anyone else who is also working their way to better health through WLS. 

So, in the interest of casting information as widely as possible, imma share a video that I saw yesterday on the Waning Woman's blog.  It's about an hour long--I know, but I promise, it's WORTH IT--and it will turn a blazing spotlight on the way our bodies really work when it comes to weight gain and weight loss.  Please watch it, and share it along to your friends, too!

Watch 10 Things You Need To Know About Losing Weight on PBS. See more from KPBS Presents.

I'm A Self-Sabotage Overachiever.

I just read a pretty great article called Avoiding All Or None Thinking, and it resonated with me like one of those gigantic Chinese gongs.  Not only have I often been my own worst enemy when it comes to weight gain and trying to lose weight, but I have to agree with the article--I've often sabotaged my own damn self by setting my standards impossibly high.

Case in point: every time I resolve to excercise, if I actually follow through and DO the workout, I am never satisfied with doing the normal 20 or 30 minute process.  Nope.  I have to push myself to the absolute limit.  If I'm doing a DVD workout that tells me to use 5-lb. hand weights, I gotta be Workout Badass Girl and grab 10-lb. weights PLUS ankle and wrist weights.  If I convince myself to go out for a walk, then I'm speed walking as fast as I can for at least 80% of the time.  If I dust off my ancient "Sweatin' to the Oldies" tapes and Richard Simmons chirps at me to "go get two soup cans" to use as light hand weights, you know my dumb ass is raiding the cupboards for the Sam's Club-sized, feed-the-entire-congregation, #10 cans of cling peaches in heavy syrup and duct-taping them to my sweaty paws.  Then, when I wake up the next day, feeling like I've been run over by a tank brigade in my own personal Battle of the Bulge(s), I throw a pity party for how much it hurrrrrrts.  By the time the soreness and stiffness wanes, I've usually made up my mind to avoid EVER exercising again.

It's a pretty brilliant (if rather warped) strategy, really.  I'd make the effort--nay, I would make MORE of an effort than any rational human could possibly expect of me--then I'd wallow in self-pity while simultaneously gloating that I had worked SO hard; and then I'd flounce away, feeling justified in giving up.  Food would be my consolation prize for the way exercise had betrayed me.

And that's just one aspect of the entire self-sabotage campaign.  I have been known to follow that all-or-nothing mindset in choosing what I eat during a diet, in following the guidelines of whatever program I happen to be on that time around, and in measuring my progress.  Every time the results bit me in my expanding butt, EVERY time the scale stopped moving, or (gasp!) moved in the wrong direction, I would wallow and flounce. The usual result was that I gained back everything I had lost, and then some, which only fed my negative attitude about my body.

If I am going to move forward and become a successful sleever--and I SHALL--it's pretty apparent that I am going to have to drop my all-or-nothing mindset in the biohazard bucket, along with 80% of my stomach.  I'm going to have to be my own biggest fan, buy some pompoms, and recruit myself to lead Team Diva's cheering squad.  Learn to accept setbacks (even the ones that are minor) with grace and resolve, rather than hissy fits and Hagen-Dazs.  That may be the biggest challenge of all, but I'm determined to make it!

What have your mental stepping stones and attitude stumbling blocks been?  Tell me about it in the comments!