I had to make a phone call or three to get through to the very nice lady in charge of booking surgeries last week, but after memorizing the "press 1 for ______, press 2 for _______" menu, I finally got my surgery date nailed down!
July 1st, 2013 (exact time to be determined at some point in the future), I will climb up on a surgery table and surrender 80%+ of my stomach, in order to stop surrendering my health, happiness and involvement in life! I'm excited, I'm thrilled, I'm over the moon! IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!
I'm also TERRIFIED. Because, well...IT'S REALLY HAPPENING. I've only had major surgery twice before, and each time, I went home with a baby--which was quite a door prize, really. This time I'm coming home without a good chunk of a major organ; one which has been both my nemesis and the focus of my joy for much of my life. I'm worried about complications; I'm worried about all those hundred bajillion little details over which I have absolutely no control. Will I get out of the hospital after only two days, or will something--who knows what that "something" could be--go wrong, and keep me there for more time than I planned on? Dehydration, a leak, chronic vomiting; it could be any or all of these.
I'm a single mom, and my ex and his family have not been kept in the loop for this surgery. The date is strategically placed to allow me a few days to recover before having to send the kiddos to him for the following weekend. Keeping the surgery to myself was my choice, and one that I made after a good deal of careful thought. What it means, though, is that if I have to stay for four days, six days, a week (or more), I don't really want to have the "why didn't you tell us you were hospitalized" conversation, much less have a "what do you mean, you had weight loss surgery" conversation. Fingers crossed that it won't come to that. I'm very protective of this decision to change my life by excising most of my stomach; I won't apologize for keeping it quiet. I just hope it all works out the way it needs to.
I'm also a bit scared that I won't be up to the work this surgery demands. I mean, I know that I will be committing to a lifetime of healthier eating and daily exercise, I really do get that. It's just that since I've never been strong enough, physically or mentally, to stick to those goals, I'm worried that I'll fail again. This is my last chance, and boy, do I know it. I have to make it work; I just have to. I refuse to let myself down by allowing this opportunity to FINALLY become healthy and fit fall from my hands.
Any other July surgery folks out there? Want to hold my hand and keep me from freaking out? I'll hold yours, too! Thanks.
Congratulations! I had my sleeve surgery about 5 1/2 weeks ago. I have recovered very well and have dropped 27 1/2 pounds since my surgery. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteElaine, that's fantastic! Great job with your weight loss! I'm happy to hear you had a smooth recovery, and I'm hoping I'll be able to say the same when my time comes. What was your biggest challenge post-op so far?
DeleteVixynne, the biggest challenge has been learning my "full" signal (and then listening to it!). Early on, I could eat just such tiny bits -- maybe 1/2 to 3/4 of 1 egg. If I over eat, I get pain in my upper body -- mostly in my shoulders -- and also I feel the need to burp which makes some of the food come back up. It isn't really like vomiting because I don't think the food ever made it into my stomach and there is no acid. It is a strange feeling.
ReplyDeleteI have learned that when I dish out a portion of food, I feel compelled to finish it, especially the "expensive" (e.g. meat) part. [We didn't have much money when I was growing up and I was encouraged to "at least finish your meat" if I said I was full.] Also, if I am eating something tasty, I want to keep eating (we went out for dinner on Sunday, and I had to cover my remaining food because I wanted to pick at it). Also, if I get hungry, I eat fast and might miss that full signal.
That has been the hardest so far. But, honestly, my recovery has been pretty easy. I have not yet found a food that I can't tolerate.
Thanks for sharing, Elaine--I'm sure there's going to be a learning curve for me, too. Right now, I'm hoping that my surgery is successful and complication-free. Then I'll have to just take baby steps each day to get used to my "new normal", right? :)
DeleteI've never been so excited and nervous all at the same time; except during that last month or so of pregnancy.
This time, it's ME getting a rebirth. Woohoo!