I don't think anyone really goes into weight-loss surgery--whether it's Roux-en-Y, the lapband, or the gastric sleeve--without really wanting something. I mean, who would willingly undergo anesthesia, the risks of abdominal surgery, have their innards re-routed, removed, or forcibly collared with a foreign object, unless the possible benefits FAR outweighed (pardon the pun) the possible risks or side effects? Nobody, that's who.
So what is it that you want most from this big "system reset"? Are you focused on health as your top priority? Getting rid of blood pressure meds, insulin, crackling knees and aching hips? Are you looking forward to wearing clothes that accentuate your slimmer self rather than camouflage the bumps and wobbles? Are you excited to be able to join in on physical activities; whether that means running a 10K or chasing your toddler around the park?
If I'm brutally honest with myself, I guess it's a little of all three, but although my middle-aged body is starting to protest at lugging around an extra Olsen-twin-and-a-half of weight, I haven't had any major health complications from my obesity. Okay, I'm not able to run up three flights of stairs any more without feeling like I'll need a fifteen-minute rest and an oxygen tank at the top, that's true. I'll probably be more active post-op, though I don't see myself becoming a marathoner. (It could happen, but I doubt it. If I suddenly crave long-distance running, I promise to let you know!) My kids are both in their teens, so we don't do a lot of Red Rover or tag in the back yard these days.
My main focus is to be happy in my own skin. Maybe that's a little vain, but there it is. I want to shop for pretty clothes that make me want to sashay instead of hide. I want to look the best that middle-aged me can. I want my kids to be proud of how their mom looks, instead of feeling defensive about having a "fat mom". I'm tired of hating the way I look, and REALLY tired of hating myself for not succeeding at weight loss in the past.
That's my big prize, the one I'm going to struggle towards every single day for the next couple of years. I want to be in the best shape I can be, in the smallest size I can reach.
What's your big goal?
I have 2 big goals:
ReplyDelete1. Go downhill skiing this winter with my 10 year old.
2. Hike the John Muir Trail (215 miles of wilderness in the CA Sierra Nevada) sometime in the next 5 years.
I want to be active the rest of my life. I'm 52 y/o right now, and I figure I can get at least 15 more good years of activity (hiking, backpacking, downhill and XC skiing, bicycling, etc...) -- I do not want to waste a minute of that!
Those are fantastic goals, Elaine! Do you think you'll hike the John Muir Trail in short sections, or do it all at once?
DeleteI'm definitely not very outdoorsy--but that's got a lot to do with how unathletic I feel and how much I hate being the slowest one in the group. I hiked (DOWN) Mount Washington about ten years ago, which would have been probably about fifty pounds ago, too. Even at a lighter weight, I couldn't keep up with the more athletic hikers in my group, and every time I caught up to them, they'd be lounging around, resting while they waited. As soon as I lurched into sight, panting and sweating like crazy, they'd all hop up and head out again--I never got to rest! Hiking kind of went sour for me that day, LOL!
I want to do it as a thru-hike. I have hiked some sections -- I've been up to Nevada Falls a few times and to Little Yosemite Valley once. In 2008, when I last got healthy, I hiked into Thousand Island Lake which has the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. (You can see pix from that trip and also one in Northern Yosemite on my flickr page: http://www.flickr.com/photos/elainemay/sets/72157607256470139/). The summer between my junior and senior year of high school, my little brother and I backpacked the Rae Lakes Loop which is partly on the JMT. (Here's a website of that with some pix: http://www.summitpost.org/rae-lakes-loop/846138).
ReplyDeleteI love the outdoors. I have always been the slowest in the group, but I don't care -- there are some awesomely beautiful places you cannot get to by car. I also love the absence of modern day noise.